Hidden God Hiding Love
By Jane Tawel
August 29, 2021
All truth speakers know this.
All truth seekers show this,
in The Way they treat others.
We don’t know why God hides,
but it must have something to do,
with us, not God.
After all, a God who hides must love us very much.
For who can see God and live?
Love is not particularly our human forté.
And the kind of loves we mistake for Love,
perhaps the one that hovers and smothers,
in a needy insecure desire;
or love in a parent’s or lover’s missional bait and switch;
or love that demands returns on love’s investments
until a better investment comes around;
or love that claims to sacrifice,
while in reality,
it only takes and takes love unto one’s self,
in the name of charity for others;
these things we all accept as if we know their meaning.
But the still small voice within us, always cries: “Lack! Lack!”
These false loves we accept and make stories about,
and award and honor those we think did it selflessly,
and so, we spin and protect the tall tales of selfless Eros;
and miss the truth myths of Agape love.
And we die false sacrifices in the name of love,
never having lived in the sacrifice of God’s Love.
Or we love others, with only their false names on our lips
because for most of us we think that kind of love is the best we can do,
and because the names we have given them are the only names we know.
We have not yet repented of our love,
and confessed that our hearts are still mostly made of stone.
We have not stopped to listen to the hidden song within,
the others or ourselves,
and stopped-up the noise of love-songs,
and stripped away the names of our families or feudal tribes.
We fear without our names,
the only names we know,
we will not know who we are.
But that is only because we have not yet received our white stones.
But we put far too much faith in knowing who we are;
“Be still. Stop your stories. And Know God, I Am. you are.”
Oh, put aside your childish things, and fairy tales.
There is no white knight riding forth to save you.
You have salvation within yourself.
Arise from your deathbed and live.
Selfless love is a cancerous myth,
full of false gods and false loves,
spreading through our lives like locusts in fields of grain.
Make your story about loving yourself.
God loves Himself;
and love is of God and everyone who truly loves,
is born out of God.
Make your story about loving everyone.
God loves everyone;
and this hard love, like a hidden diamond,
is hidden even from God Himself,
so that all may be loved.
God’s Love is hidden,
Like all treasure chests are.
God’s love lies hidden within my very chest walls.
And if I can not sense its Presence
in myself, I will never sense it
in my brother, mother, sister, friend, child and
Yes, even hidden, like a lost coin, in my enemy.
If my Truth is not seeking
The Hidden God in me, and
God’s Love hidden in you,
then all truth is a lie
and all loves are hates.
Just because the God in me
under the eons of fallen, rotten fruit
from Eden’s deserted crop,
the pearl of great price is also buried there;
gifted, not earned; found, not banked on;
apart from all I have nurtured or harvested;
a part and piece of all that is
my solitary humanness, my island, myself,
alive and a-love within the Divine Whole.
And just because the God in
you, or me, or them, or us
may be hidden under layers,
and layers of the dusts-bowls of fruitlessness,
of the arid wastelands of anger and fear,
of the decimating wars without and within
or the shackles placed on us by the concepts of slavery or sin;
just because we feel alone
or sometimes we are so very all alone;
just because we can’t see clearly,
and all is muddled in minds gone rancid from the infections of information,
and our hearts hurt so bad from longing for love,
and our eyes sting from trying to see through,
the crusted over with dirty things
cracked mirrors of our souls;
and the world has been unformed and fomented
by our own lusts and dirtied hands;
none of that means anything
if The God Who formed the Universe,
who formed us each in the World’s Womb,
is still playing peek-a-boo,
with us Her children,
and when we are afraid in this world of hide-and-seek,
that we will never find God,
She is reaching out Her Hands,
and God suddenly appears
to hold us in Her Love.
In the world of false loves,
We grope blindly and fall, and fall, and fall.
But that doesn’t mean that now and then,
if we keep our eyes open,
and keep stepping out with faith,
and keep our lamps filled with oil,
every now and then, and eventually with practice,
and giving up, and with, (I am afraid to say it) a lot of dying to that which is dead;
every now and then,
the Living Hidden will peek-out and peer
through the most unremarkable people,
unremarkable people like myself;
and beauty will appear in the most undesirable things and places;
and Love will be like nothing we could ever imagine happening in ourselves.
And by finding the hidden and divine Love within ourselves,
we will find God.
This Way is the only Way.
And This Story is the only Story.
And This Love is the only True Love.
When I love only and completely
the God in you,
and when I love the God in me,
then we who still seek,
will see God.
And we will live.
© Jane Tawel, August 2021