The Little Gnat

by Jane Tawel

Unsplash- Payco Stories

The Little Gnat

By Jane Tawel

June 1, 2025

*

I watch the smallest gnat

flit around my reading lamp.

I bugged me, so,

I tried once or twice to squash it.

But after it kept getting away,

I asked its forgiveness:

“Forgive me, please.”

Why should I murder

a little gnat?

It does me no harm.

So, I shall do it no harm

and thereby live

One perfect

Harmless

Moment.

*

Why do I choose

to feed on feces

when by turning around

I could find The Feast?

*

The mind runs willy-nilly,

desperate to escape the heart.

Why?

*

The walls we build are made

of solid ice — cold and hard.

But even solid ice will melt

when exposed (over enough time)

to the warmth of Love.

And like the Sun,

The Light of Truth

will make cracks in the

iciest and hardest of our walls.

*

Like the Sun if we look straight at it

we are kindly blinded if we seek the Truth.

Like warm water on cold hands

Love will gently open even the most mangled grip.

*

True Truth is only found

in Not Knowing.

Love is only found

in Letting Go of grasping the high bars

and falling gently down

into the soft folds of Forgiveness.

*

Who knows

who the little gnat might actually be?

He will die of his own accord,

in his own time,

as shall I.

Perhaps someday the gnat and I

will meet again

And he will say to me, 
 “Thank you”.

He will appear as an angel

and thank me for not killing him.

And I will thank him

for teaching me about Love.

Perhaps Someday –

Ah, my Soul — 

I will thank even the little gnat,

and All who bring me to

The Place where we are One.

*

© Jane Tawel, 2025

Call Me Back

Vlad Kutepov, Unsplash

*

Call Me Back

By Jane Tawel

May 3, 2025

*

Call me back,

call me back to you.

Softly, softly,

as morning dew,

as summer rain,

as gentle breeze,

Call me back to you.

*

Call me back to you,

call me back.

Sweetly, sweetly,

as morning larks,

as summer eves,

as Aspen bark,

Call me back to you.

*

Call me back to you,

and I shall call too.

Gently, gently

as baby’s breath,

as love’s first kiss,

as butterfly wings,

as Spring’s first buds,

as wisps of clouds,

that float and fly,

and slivers of moon

that cradle night’s sky.

I’ll call to you,

back through time and place.

And though change does come,

in form or face,

I will know You are mine,

and I am yours,

as we call to each other –

Come back.

Come back.

Come back.

*

© Jane Tawel, 2025

A Wonderous Thing Appears

by Jane Tawel

April 4, 2025

L.A. Phil at Disney Hall with Gustav Dudamel and John Williams and Yo Yo Ma

And I read and I read and I mourn and mourn and I worry and angst and I get angry and make my small little fights with small little metaphoric fists raised and keep trying to provide my small little acts of kindness and cheers for those who fill bigger shoes than I and are trying to do something. And probably like many today, I fight against the tide of absolute depression and hopelessness. And THEN…. a Wonderous Thing does appear. Last Night, Raoul Tawel and I were privileged (and I do mean unbelievably that I was a person of undeserved privilege) to hear a concert at the exquisitely designed LA Disney Hall, where even we peons in the rafters have the most incredible experience of a perfectly designed architectural masterpiece and have a place in the crowd where the sound of music is gloriously imbibed. Gustav Dudamel conducting is always a treat but last night was a special treat we gave ourselves. In one glorious night of music — American music! — by the prolific genius John Williams, who was THERE! all 93 years and probably 93 pounds of him. We were there, big bucks spent for us, even beyond the big bucks we spend for season tickets to the LA Phil, to hear an artist we have long loved and been in awe of — yes! — Yo Yo Ma! Yowza! That guy can play a cello! 😊 So you see, at this point words are failing me and I can not describe an experience that is one of those times that the Wonder, the Ineffable, the Divine merges with the Human Spirit and the Creativity of great Artists merges with the Creator within them and all around us. And again, it came to me as it often does in times like last night, that these are the people and the experiences that truly make me believe that there is a God and that a God Who can create human beings like Yo Yo Ma, and John Williams, and Frank Gehry, and every single one of those horn blowers, and drum bangers, and string players who make up the spiritual community (yes spiritual whether they know it or not) of the L.A. Phil orchestra — it came to me again that A God who can create those almost unearthly and yet human creators must want to be with those people forever somewhere, somehow in what we might imagine to be that New Heaven and New Earth kinda “place” and “time” where the joy and life of Creation and Creativity go on and on and on. Raoul said, “Yeah, but in your worldview here, what does that mean about people like you and me?” I said, “Well, all I can hope is that whatever True Love we little folks put into this world will carry over into the next. I can only hope that Love Remains and so I will just love, and love more.”

Ah, last night was a taste of heaven — no a taste of True Earth, as it was meant to Be, as it can Be. Can you imagine a world where each day, rather than wake up to read the news, we wake up to see Van Gogh paint and Frank Gehry design: where the air is filled not with hate or fear or bombs or cries, but the music of John Williams or the music of Bruce Springsteen; and where instead of producing guns and pollution, we are producing cellos and piccolos and geraniums and rice. We can not turn our eyes away from the fight we must fight today, but we can turn our ears towards the music of the spheres, and our hearts toward that which is full of wonder in the human spirit. I am not saying this well — read some good poetry or a good book today to read people who say this better than I — but I hope you will find your way forward today with some small experience of Wonder, and some Care for Your Soul (Thomas Moore) and some little bit of Hope and a whole, whole lot of Love. Walk in Beauty. Baby steps maybe, scraped knees and bent head maybe, gimpy leg and aching heart maybe, but Walk in Beauty. If you want to find God anywhere, you can be sure if it’s anywhere on this planet, She also will be walking there.

© Jane Tawel, 2025

One Step, One Brick

by Jane Tawel

Lidia Nikole — unsplash

*

In 2018, I posted a quote by that great “worker in the fields”, Dorothy Day:

The sense of futility is one of the greatest evils of the day.…People say, “What can one person do? What is the sense of our small effort?” They cannot see that we can only lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time; we can be responsible only for the one action of the present moment.

Reading this post of mine from a previous time of great and deep weltanschuaang (2018) and my quoting Dorothy Day back then, I remind myself that the feeling of futility or hopelessness is static and keeps one feeling incompetent to do the smallest things. And I am reminded that Mother Teresa said that not all of us can do great things but that even I can do small things with great love. And I believe that ultimately as Judeo-Christian wisdom teaches, “only three things will remain”: trust in Something bigger than ourselves; hope that, as that great Black Preacher, Martin Luther King said, “the arc of the universe bends toward justice; and Divine Love, available to all humans, Love that ignores ego and self-interest for that which lasts. And the greatest thing that shall remain, beyond nation, beyond “stuff”, and even beyond the self, and indeed, the only thing we can ever know of God, is Love. But even our deepest held belief is a fragile thing and it wavers with each storm, my friends. It can be very hard to see the light in the face of darkness, so each moment I will try to forget all the things I think I believe and I will simply walk forward, one step taken at a time, by the sheer will of a freeing Love. By going through suffering, not trying to get around it, we do find peace. One step. One moment. One small act of love. One hand reaching out. One at a time. 
 
 “Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. Every breath we take, every step we take, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment.”
 
― Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step.
 
 “My peace I offer you too. Not the peace this world offers, but a peace that will pass your wildest imaginings, a peace that passes your beliefs, a peace that passes your understanding.” — Jesus, The Christ, 
 
 I shall take my responsibility in this present moment seriously, but I shall not look at the fortress of hate and greed being built against the True Truth. I shall mourn but not hate those who tear down that which others have worked hard to build, not seeing through their foolishness and greed and hatred the Good things — things of justice, and open-mindedness, of sharing and acceptance and care and kindness. I shall lay down my one small brick at a time in my own back yard, not as a wall to keep people out, but as a wall to support the vines of love that I choose to plant and hope to grow. I shall plant one small seed at a time, and trust that the Mountain will move.

Will I Stand Up?

by Jane Tawel

Peter Muscutt on Unsplash

*

Will I Stand Up?

By Jane Tawel

February 2, 2025

*

Will I stand up,

if courage fails?

If lies prevail

and all seems lost?

*

Will I stand up

when others scoff?

When I’m cast off

as weak and frail?

*

Today I stand

upon The Rock

and weep to see

a House once strong,

now willful, prideful

tearing down

its firm foundations

its Cornerstone,

erecting bent beliefs

on shifting sands.

*

Will I stand up

when hope is torn

from bleeding Heart

from bleeding Hands?

No — 

I shall fall…

But I will raise

No flag,

No creed,

No weapon but,

The Banner of

God’s Love for All,

Yes! — “All!” I’ll cry,

with my last breath,

and though I can not stand — 

I’ll crawl.

*

© Jane Tawel

Crossing the Road on The Way

by Jane Tawel

heino eisner — unsplash

Crossing the Road on The Way

By Jane Tawel

January 26, 2025

*

Resting my head on small, fragile hands,

too fragile to hold the world up.

What would happen if I dropped the world?

What would happen if I gave my thoughts 

 — Up?

*

Holding my heart,

pushing it deeper within.

Stunting or fronting true selves.

Who would I be if I opened the cage?

What would emerge if my heart was set free?

How much Love can a soft heart give?

Why, All the Love that there is.

*

Embracing the shattered,

the least and the lost,

Inside me — 

but also in them.

How would I live?

 if I–

Stopped.

Looked.

and Listened……..

before crossing the road

On The Way?

*

© Jane Tawel, 2025

Fall and Flow

by Jane Tawel

Fall and Flow

By Jane Tawel

January 22, 2025

*

Beginning — 

A bud appears on a dung heap

Beauty despite, beauty despite….

Somehow from garbage,

New birth.

New shoots reach up

from old roots,

Searching

Dreaming

Creating Hope.

*

Stay small,

as small as you can be.

In this Un-brave New World,

find your courage in

laughter,

meekness,

small acts of kindness.

Become curious.

Be curious only about — 

What you can see

What you can smell

What you can taste

What you can hear

What you can touch.

Keep your focus on

What you can experience in this moment

and perhaps, what you can change.

Nothing but what is real for you

needs to intrude on your reality.

*

Use your fear wisely

and then fear not.

This is not the beginning of the end.

This is the end of yet another beginning.

Many have come and gone before

And for you, there is only — 

This time

This place

This now

This task.

Find those to whom

you alone can help,

find those to whom you

would do unto

as you would have them do

unto you.

*

Herein, lies peace.

Trust that you can fight for right,

and stand up for Goodness

but only where you are planted.

Be a beautiful small flower.

The garbage is only here

to help you flourish and grow.

Let other people tend their own gardens

or wallow in their own dung heaps

as they will.

They are not for you.

*

Endings…..

A leaf falls from a tree

A wave flows out to the Ocean

And dust returns to dust

Let go

Fall

Flow

And you will find where you have come from

and return.

*

© Jane Tawel, 2025

Child’s Play Prayer

by Jane Tawel

Unsplash: Omer Haktan Bulut, Photographer

Child’s Play Prayer

By Jane Tawel

January 18, 2025

*

Hi.

I don’t understand You,

and that’s okay,

but I know You are my Parent.

I knew You when I

was in Your Womb, Mommy.

I knew You from the first day

You held my weak and wandering

eyes in Your loving gaze,

caressing me with Your thoughts.

*

I know how strong You are, Daddy,

because time and time again,

no matter how big I have grown,

You have lifted me up

on Your strong shoulders,

and held me in your strong hands.

*

Forgive me for growing up

to think I had to earn your love.

Forgive me for thinking You could

ever love me less if You also

loved my brothers and sisters

just as much as You love me.

Forgive me for thinking

I could ever put Your Love aside

like a memento from the Past,

store it in a little box,

shelving with other books

I might take down and read sometimes.

Your Love is not a once upon a time thing.

Your Love is not one thing at all.

Your Love is One — 

not You. not Me.

I am Yours, and You are Mine.

Mommy. Daddy. Creator. Love.

*

You, Parent-Creator,

are higher than my highest thoughts,

and lower than my deepest desires.

Release me from want — 

from needing

from needing or pretending

to be an adult around You — 

an adult full of doing and thinking,

not trusting and resting

at peace

at home

 in Your Love.

*

Help me flunk my test today,

so I will relearn how to go out and play.

Let me be again

Be… again… 

 Your dearly beloved

Child.

Amen.

© Jane Tawel, 2025

All is Love. All is Now.

by Jane Tawel

Max Bohme at max__the human

All is Love. All is Now

By Jane Tawel

November 7, 2024

*

I wanted to write about woe and grief

but decided to sit here and breathe.

I wanted to share how angry I am,

to know this is how the end begins,

rotting by choice from within.

But I looked to the words

and the life of The Man

to Whom, as a child I had taken a vow,

and I realized His message was all about Love

and all about loving The Now.

*

I feared the destruction, so long underway

of the feminine Sacred of All.

And the Past and the Future

merged bleakly in me — 

a trajectory strong since The Fall.

But I looked at my hands,

writing words on this page,

and I heard that Still Voice

Whispering, Age after Age:

“Just be present and Breathe.

Beingness.

Just Be Still.

Know The Moment — 

that’s all that you need.

Be Just You.

Be True You.

Just right Now — 

you’ll know how.

Find The Why.

To self, die.

You are Buddha.

You are Christ.

You’re The Way and The Life.

You’re the Voice.

You are Love.

Only you.

Only Be.

Only now.

Only choice is to Love.

Only Love.

Only Now.

Love is All.

Now is All.

All is Love.

All is Now.”

*

© Jane Tawel, 2024

A Prayer

by Jane Tawel

unsplash by Annie Spratt

*

A Prayer

By Jane Tawel

September 27, 2024

*

I pray that mine will learn True Love.

I pray that mine will find The Way.

I pray for safety for each one,

and that sufficient is the day.

*

I pray for each that has been given

into my weak and feeble hands,

and then I pray for all the planet

in my own place and distant lands.

*

I pray at last for my own soul

that grace and love will set it free;

and that my heart and mind and will

may find its peace and home in Thee.

© Jane Tawel, 2024