A poem by Jane Tawel
Returning True Self to True God
By Jane Tawel
May 4, 2023
I lie down in fear and awake in fear,
the fear of not being enough.
I stumble over the thoughts that trip,
the memories or doubts that trip me up.
And then I sit by my window sill
and quiet my mind and my wandering thoughts,
and then — of a sudden — my soul is stilled
and I close my eyes and open my ears
and the symphony of life in the trilling birds
returns my true self to me and true God.
We’ve made up so many false theories and prayers
about gods and their communications.
We fight for our gods for religions we’ve made.
We confuse our gods with our own nations.
We love to make gods who require so little,
or a god who’ll judge others with no chance of acquittal.
We’re so busy in judging our foes, friends and peers,
unforgiveness returns in our own hellish fears.
We believe in a God who will angrily choose
to send us to heaven or hell,
and we don’t see the life we are living right now
is already a hell or a heaven in which we now dwell.
Look around. Stop death’s fear.
Quiet down. God is near.
Be at peace. Don’t ask how.
God is Good. God is here.
God is now.
There’s a God Who’s as close as a song in the dawn,
as close as the stranger I meet.
There’s a true God, as present as our doubts and our hopes;
there’s a God Who’s alive in every heart-beat.
There’s a God Who is playful and full of deep joy.
There’s a God who is born anew in each girl and boy.
There’s a God who cares nothing for our theology,
for God’s too busy loving us — loving you, loving me.
There is not a God Who’s at a distance above.
There isn’t a God causing judgment or fear.
For how could that be? When God is only True Love?
For how could that be? When God is right here?
My thoughts go in circles and fearful formations,
when I think that I know or am knowing.
But if only I find peace and awe in creation,
then there’s only real Love to and from me that’s flowing.
The poet sang, “Be Thou my vision, Oh, God,
here, yes God, True God of my heart”.
Oh, Be Thou my ears and my hands and my eyes.
Be Thou within me today and tonight.
Be only Love in me, for me, and from me.
Be True Love only, for eternal life.
Be my True God, with no knowing required.
And may only my true self be God’s true heart’s desire.
© Jane Tawel, 2023