Laying Down the Heavy Bags

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Laying Down the Heavy Bags

By Jane Tawel

October 5, 2026

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Slogging through,

hauling around these heavy bags

of selves, and roles,

of identities I have collected — 

sometimes the weight of all of them

is more than I can bear.

But to leave them alone and unguarded

Beside the Road is scary.

What would it feel like to be so light?

Who would I be without my stuff of self?

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Even the celestial bodies

I have assumed to wear

as coats of many colors

are nothing more than history’s passing fads.

And I am just a tad tired

of being used by my need to believe.

Belief is over-rated as a weight-bearing device.

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To be lightened, without load, is scary.

To give up a closet full of theories

Leaves me lighter than I can bear.

The air is too thin

without the ballast of my strong convictions.

I’ve never been a fan of flight.

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To be Light is scary.

Darkness has covered a multitude of sins.

But I have found quite lately

that the burdens I have carried

are making holes in the fabric of my life

and despite my attempts at staying under cover,

the holes keep letting the Light shine through.

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There are many ways to lay down what we carry.

And I am finding that if I do not volunteer

to let go and leave my illusive, leaden payloads behind,

then bit by bit,

the holes torn in the fabric I have donned

of selves meant to disguise the soul –

those very holes enlarge,

and fill the empty spaces — 

and whether I mean to or not,

I leave all my tattered rags of my small self

Scattered higgledy-piggledy

in my wandering wake.

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I imagine someday you may find me

(or at least I hope You do)

crawling and inching ahead along the path,

an unknown, unknowing infant,

naked, unashamed,

and Weightless.

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© Jane Tawel, 2026