The Game

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The Game

By Jane Tawel

October 22, 2026

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The World has always

been full of grifters.

To con ourselves is the first step

We take towards “adulthood”.

The second is to con others,

Playing the game

to convince them we are

the roles we play.

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Our natural tendency and desire

to win by luck

or place of birth

or beliefs in passing knowledge

of how to game the System — 

writ large on decaying papyrus — 

these things we tell ourselves

are what we have learned

what we have earned

by whom and what we are.

And the Question of what it all means

dies with the Quest of the More.

And we no longer play games

like children do — curious, free, delighted — 

But like con artists who play to win

At any cost

At any loss

of self, or soul, or Awe.

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Playing the short-con,

is the uniquely human achievement.

And on days the die lands on red,

We smile thinking we have won.

And on days the die lands on black,

We turn away — 

Angry, afraid, jealous of the gods

who we believe

have stacked the decks against us.

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Preferring to think our lives

will never bankrupt our souls

we find a new table to play at

to eat at

to rattle the cup

that contains the pips we call

“Reality”.

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We live in the uncertainty

of why we never seem to win

that which we think we most value.

And we tell ourselves that even

when the Game Room of Life

closes and all our chips

must be turned in (like it or not),

we hope and pray

there will be more games to play

in some new casino we call Heaven,

a future myth we have gambled on

while only temporarily here

playing Blackjack with our souls.

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So few of us have found the Truth and lived it.

Fewer still have listened and followed.

There was a man from Galilee

and one from Quren village

who entered all the holy gambling places

and with the mighty swords of Words alone,

turned over the gambling tables

and walked out Whole and Free.

And both said humbly, “All you must do,

Is simply follow Me.”

And the gaming table

was refashioned into a Communion Table

where all know “they have plenty and are rich”*.

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This life is not a game

and we are not the players

but the played.

We have inherited

a Sacred Trust –

to squander it, is to die.

To invest it in our Holy Being,

will resurrect the soul to Eternity Now.

One can not gamble with Presence:

it simply Is.

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“Oh, Human, what are you — 

that God has you in Mind?

God, why do you visit us

and care?”**

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We do not know or understand.

But do we really have to?

Can we not walk away

from the games we play

the unrealities we create?

And stand in awe and mystery — 

Amazed? Awake? Alive?

The Whole World is within us — 

A Kingdom of God

And nothing is a gamble

And nothing is lacking

And there is nothing to fear.

Be Still.

Trust.

I AM.

No games to stop at.

Just Flow.

Beyond luck.

Beyond entitlement.

Beyond fear of loss.

Beyond death.

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“They that place their bets

upon The Good-Love

shall be made whole and free forever.”***

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For God has always played

the Long Con.

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© Jane Tawel, 2026

*Lao Tzu Proverb

** Psalm 8:4

*** Isaiah 40:31

The Smell of The Crowd

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The Smell of The Crowd

By Jane Tawel

October 8, 2026

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Can you imagine what they smelled like?

That rag-tag bunch of men who smelled like fish?

Those women who smelled of childbirth?

(no time for baptismal purification, with all that housework

for her ladyship);

The gardeners who arrived,

Necks bent permanently from kneeling in the mud and manure?

(no time to change from cultivating his honorable so and so’s garden)

And all those little children!?

(who let them come?)

Kids so used to being neither seen nor heard,

Unable to remember what it was to play,

Day after day, picking through the garbage thrown out in the streets,

(as many of their families had been)

Children came.

Children who smelled like, well,

children.

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These were the multitudes with no free time

for baths or baptisms,

no spare change for deodorants

or gifts of frankincense and myrrh.

A people with no paid vacations

or access to spas.

In fact, probably a lot of them

knew they’d lose their jobs,

or get beaten by their mistresses

(if they were allowed to return to work).

Maybe some of the teenagers

had run away from home –

Just to hear Him speak.

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By some miraculous communication,

Long before telegraphs or cellphones

Before television or Tik-Tok,

These stinky multitudes got The Word.

Straight to their hearts, His words

The Word

Found them.

And they Knew! Knew!

They had to, simply had to,

Leave everything if they must,

and come to Jesus.

They Knew! Knew!

That they would be welcomed by Someone

Who was wise, and good,

and who cared about them.

Little did they imagine,

That they would be loved.

That they would in all their odiferous reality,

Be seen as something More,

Be touched as flesh that mattered

Be heard with their questions of importance,

And be inhaled like a fresh Breath of Life.

They wept and laughed and hugged each other,

To think they would be

Embraced by Someone who Loved them.

They could barely imagine.

Barely hope or pray

That they would be accepted as they were,

Loved even.

But they were.

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But can you imagine,

in your fresh clothes washed by Tide,

And your shampooed hair, smelling of gardenias,

And your brushed teeth compliments of Crest –

Can you imagine — 

Just for a moment — 

All of that disgusting, decaying flesh

pressed up all around

Each other and Him?

All of those calloused hands that dug the earth

or hauled the catch,

or wiped the bottoms of the rich and famous?

Can you get a hint

of the smell of those armpits that sweated

in the harsh sun and the baking furnace rooms

in the private gardens of the wealthy

and the gated houses of the powerful?

Can you smell the oozing pus

from their scrapped and bloodied knees

bowed, and bowed, and bowing again and again

in the endless service of those

with leisure and time and place and money

those who could imagine they had

cleaned away for one more day

the body’s smell of daily dying?

And can you imagine their surprise

When Jesus didn’t ask them to bow down,

Or even to help out?

But He invited them to sit and be served.

And to eat. Relax. Chill out. Enjoy.

“Take eat, there is plenty. More than enough.”

(Even his closest friends thought he was a bit nutty).

But Jesus knew he was preparing them to one day hear:

“This bread is my body, given for you. Take. Eat.”

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Oh, yes.

The dirty masses snuck away

from those too busy and with hands to clean to come

to hear a Man who had a different definition

of being clean.

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Can you imagine?

Can you smell the needy stench?

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And Jesus not only gathered them,

Invited them in,

Fed them,

And taught them things they’d only dreamed about,

But He stuck his nose deep in their

Greasy hair,

and smelly armpits,

and knees that knelt in putrid labor all day long

and the hands of tiny children, sticky with snot.

And He held them.

And He loved them.

And He Imbibed — 

every stinky, smelly, poverty-stricken, bodily-entombed

one of them.

After all –

Jesus came

to smell like one of us.

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And He smiled as He chased the scent.

Being One with The Hound of Heaven.

Jesus knew that The Kingdom

was not behind the walls or in the mansions,

But right there in the Unseen masses,

But who had eyes to see;

And right there with those with ears to hear;

And in the so-called Untouchables,

But who had open hands, willing to hold them out to others

and touch the Hand of God.

And Jesus knew that in the pungent scrums

pressing up against Him,

were a multitude of noses,

broken, misshapen, fractured

by years of being stuck to the grindstones of the temporal

but there with Him,

ready and able to smell the fragrance of The Eternal Holy.

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And little did they know,

That with every sense informing Christ’s soul,

He was preparing for the ultimate Reek

of His body, hung like offal on a Roman Cross,

And the decaying stench of His body,

Given for us,

So that we might go

and smell likewise.

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Jesus gave the poor and lost and least

a strong whiff

of what it means to live within a Kingdom

Imbued with the Earthy,

smelly, pungent scent of humanness

and yet — -

and yet — -

within each,

there lurked

the aroma of the Divine.

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And He encouraged us

to go — 

and smell likewise.

© Jane Tawel, 2026

Laying Down the Heavy Bags

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Laying Down the Heavy Bags

By Jane Tawel

October 5, 2026

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Slogging through,

hauling around these heavy bags

of selves, and roles,

of identities I have collected — 

sometimes the weight of all of them

is more than I can bear.

But to leave them alone and unguarded

Beside the Road is scary.

What would it feel like to be so light?

Who would I be without my stuff of self?

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Even the celestial bodies

I have assumed to wear

as coats of many colors

are nothing more than history’s passing fads.

And I am just a tad tired

of being used by my need to believe.

Belief is over-rated as a weight-bearing device.

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To be lightened, without load, is scary.

To give up a closet full of theories

Leaves me lighter than I can bear.

The air is too thin

without the ballast of my strong convictions.

I’ve never been a fan of flight.

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To be Light is scary.

Darkness has covered a multitude of sins.

But I have found quite lately

that the burdens I have carried

are making holes in the fabric of my life

and despite my attempts at staying under cover,

the holes keep letting the Light shine through.

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There are many ways to lay down what we carry.

And I am finding that if I do not volunteer

to let go and leave my illusive, leaden payloads behind,

then bit by bit,

the holes torn in the fabric I have donned

of selves meant to disguise the soul –

those very holes enlarge,

and fill the empty spaces — 

and whether I mean to or not,

I leave all my tattered rags of my small self

Scattered higgledy-piggledy

in my wandering wake.

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I imagine someday you may find me

(or at least I hope You do)

crawling and inching ahead along the path,

an unknown, unknowing infant,

naked, unashamed,

and Weightless.

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© Jane Tawel, 2026

This House

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This House

By Jane Tawel

October 2, 2026

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This house

will be the last I live in

(it was coincidently also the first, though not the same)

And I will never leave this house

Until I do

Giving it up, as all things must

Eventually Be given up

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Where I will go

when I leave this house

No one knows

But I will Be

As ever I have been

Just me

But houseless

Though never homeless

© Jane Tawel, 2026

Holy Spirit Finger Pointing

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Holy Spirit Finger Pointing

by Jane Tawel

This is a post for any one who still reads anything for instruction in developing a worldview that I might call “spiritual” and fair warning: I do use the “B” word in this post — Bible. This morning, as is my daily habit, I sat down with coffee and books. I have no idea what induced me to do something I have not done since possibly I was a teenager, but I took out my big, fat Amplified Holy Bible and did the “let the page fall open to a passage” thingy that we used to do back in the day. I am not a fan of this method of study, hoping to be more of a purposeful seeker and a formulating adherent of a coherent, albeit, granted strange, ecclectic, non-literal, mythic, Love is always the answer, and open to many paths kinda’ old girl — BUT this was truly uncanny, although I have found time and time again that Spirit is, if anything, uncanny, serendipitous, and always willing to lend a hand to my search and desire to walk the right path. 

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I must admit, my “let the book fall open where it will” was not completely random. I love the Psalms, Isaiah, and the book of Mark, so I opened the Scriptures to those books, knowing I would find something to chew on. Poetry, Prophecy, and Jesus always stretch me, comfort me, delight me, make me think and meditate, and just plain, help me. Today, it was truly remarkable, and a confirmation that “those who seek, will find” and that what we see happening in the world today has happened before, people have had to wrestle with it, and everyone has to make a choice of what side of right and wrong they will stand on. So for those of you so inclined, here is where the Finger of Holy Spirit pointed me today. 

Psalm 10. Isaiah 51. and Mark 11:15–26. 

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And those of you who still think of the Bible as a guide, be careful, especially with the Mark passage. You may have to make changes in your worldview, and maybe even your actions. But for some of you, I hope these passages give you Hope. We are not alone. Righteous anger is needed to defeat evil and evil is real — sometimes in the very places that are supposed to be doing good. 

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And most of all, remember there is a Love that loves EVERYONE in all the world and Love always loves, and Love always remains, and Love always wins.

© Jane Tawel, 2026